I just saw a hot homeless man
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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