I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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