Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
