Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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