Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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