The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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