u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
