Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
