have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
