I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
