HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
