Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
