haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
