If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
