Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
