Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
