She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
