she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
