I seem to have left my pride at pride
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
