i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
