I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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