matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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