HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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