Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
