trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
