If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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