At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
