Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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