Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
