She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
