...so i touched it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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