I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
