I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
