I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
