GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
