Do vagina's smell?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize