peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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