Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
