if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
