Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
