last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That accounts for only three of the penises
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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