She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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