I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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