I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
