Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
