After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
