he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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