Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
