You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
