I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
