How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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