need another drink. this is the easiest way
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
