He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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