69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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