sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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