no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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