Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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