So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
