insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
