i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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