going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
