i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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