I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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