You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
