wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
wow bdsm is so cute
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