i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
