Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
