That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
